By the way...

I'm trying out something new. This is an experiment, to see what it looks like when I'm really honest with what's in my heart on this little page. Forgive me if it's not very well written or if it just ends up awkward. I mean well.

My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

And friends, once that's taken care of and we're no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we're bold and free before God! We're able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we're doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God's command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command. As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us. 1 John 3:18-24

<sup>The Lord used these verses to rebuild me today. And I want to share them with you.

You see, I was weary and wounded. I was left vulnerable from a less than adequate night's sleep and a hard word to process through. I got caught in a storm of self doubt.

Why can't I ever be good enough? I wasn't cut out for this. No one even likes me.

My day got worse and worse. I started to believe the lies the enemy whispered in my ear.

Everyone has it together but me. Why can't I be more like her? I can only pretend for so long. Maybe this is really who I am.</sup>

Burdened by all the ways I've failed and all the ways I continue to fail, I started to crumble. I wanted to cry. All I could do was go home and hide.

<sup>But you see, it's not what we do that makes us worthy. It's not what we do that makes us who we are. It's the spirit of God that abides in our hearts that makes us who we are. As he changes us. And he knows us well. He knows what we're really made of and celebrates that. He rejoices over us, his perfect creation.

But, how can I move forward from comparing myself to everyone around me? How can I find freedom from this? The good news is the Lord sees our struggles and knows our pain. He gives us hope.

When I have there's no energy and you have nothing left to give...practice real love.
When you can't stop the self destructive thoughts from bearing down on you...practice real love.
When you just aren't sure what to do or where you're going...practice real love.

Practice real love. It will shut down debilitating self-criticism leaving us free to enjoy the Lord and receive all that he has for us.</sup>

This is my story.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Jeremiah 29:11-13

As I've grown up, gotten married, and moved to the city, I look back and am overcome by the Lord's faithfulness to me. Through times of transition and need He's always shown up. Always. I saw Him first when I was about 15 years old. I remember so clearly walking into the living room and noticing a new card on the fireplace mantle. As I read through it, learning for the first time of my Dad's sobriety, I was confused. By this time in my life it seemed impossible that the alcoholism that defined every part of my reality could be defeated. I spent that whole night wrestling with the idea that everything had changed. This wasn't supposed to happen. How could it?

The only way I could make sense of it was through something very simple. My grandmother prayed for us. I knew that because she told me she did. When she watched us while my mom went to work she prayed some more. And when my dad came home from work she would say goodbye through the stairwell railings and tell him that she prayed for him. She prayed boldly and the Lord answered.

This day changed my life.

Just as He promises in Jeremiah 29:11, the Lord has plans for good in our lives. He took ugly circumstances and used them to give a hopeless and unworthy girl new life.

How has the Lord worked for good in your life?

This isn't the only time the Lord has interceded in my circumstances in a way that felt miraculous. Sometimes it doesn't feel miraculous as He guides my steps. Regardless, when you feel defeated, discouraged, hopeless, burdened or all of the above be encouraged because our prayers don't drift vainly up into nothingness. The Lord hears us! And He's relentlessly pursuing us, loving us and working for good in our lives.

I like simple.

You may or may not have noticed that I'm re-vamping the blog. Consider this a work in progress.

Listen.

I love Valentines Day!

It's just another reason to shower your nearest and dearest in the warm fuzzies! What's not to love? To all of my dear loves, I have little note and kitten temporary tattoo for you!

John woke me up on Saturday morning with a Valentines Day Surprise! He bought me a Kindle! I've been having fun loading it up with apps, and free books from the library! My husband spoils me :) I bought him a book on Bigfoot movies, and I think he's just as happy as I am.

Last night we got sushi at Kiraba on 140th with the Brady's. They were sans baby and we were hungry! The most memorable part of the evening? Definitely Sarah's description of 2-Headed Shark Attack! Sounds like a must see!